• ParentsPresence

A Father's importance/Divorce affects

A father figure in the household can almost go unnoticed. The importance a father provides for his family affects so many aspects of modern society and thankfully we have statistics to show how kids have reacted either in two-separate households or single mother households.

The National Center for Fathering has garnered statistics of fatherless households and has uncovered an epidemic that never seems to be talked about. More than 20 million children live in households where there is no presence of a father, 20 million kids live without one of the two most important people in their lives. Others live in households where their father is physically present but emotionally detached from their Childs accomplishments, success, and wins, essentially neglecting a child of the love and approval they seek from their father. Fatherlessness can be spotted through almost every societal problem within kids and teens.

Some Statistics:

  • According to the U.S. Census Bureau, an estimated 24.7 million or 33% of children live in household that is absent of their biological father

  • 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions have no father (U.S. Dept. of Justice)

  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (U.S. D.H.H.S.)

  • 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father (U.S. D.H.H.S.)

  • 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes (U.S. D.H.H.S.)

These are just a few of the many examples that are available on the internet. This should be a clear indication the importance of the father-figure in the household. A father should be invested and wanting to know what his child is experiencing on a daily basis. I feel as if it's almost like a stereotype thing, kids saying they don't have a good relationship with their father and literally pretending to be okay in everyday life, but actually going through a living hell every single minute because they want that relationship, they want the approval, they want to make their father's proud.

If you are a father who is not invested in your child's life they would never tell you this but, they really, really, really want you to just say something, anything to give them some semblance that you care about what they're doing. I've met and known childhood friends who have had this exact problem and I have seen them struggle through high school, college, and even now in their everyday life, they struggle. These people have issues trusting others, some had exceptional potential and a good plan but sadly they fell off with abusive drug use, some didn't even make it to high school graduation because they dropped out, all of these culminated ultimately from not having a physically and emotionally present father in their life.

You may be asking, "Well, what about children where their father is invested in them?" Children who's fathers are invested in their lives physically and emotionally are significantly more likely to grow up happier, do well in school, avoid risky behavior, and have a great self-esteem. Studies have shown that father love is important in predicting the social, cognitive, and overall development of children and teens.

In some situations, both parents are involved but things are still not as they should be. Why? Well sadly divorces exist and this creates separate households where children with two involved parents have to constantly have their settings and surroundings changed in between different living situations. I can personally say that both my parents were involved in my life but they split up when I was very young so I had grow up spending some weeks in a place where I knew nobody and then weeks back at where I had always known and felt the best because it was where all my friends were and it was the setting I was most comfortable in. Of course every family is unique and a few out of the many seem to be just as fine if not better with separate households, but divorce has always been shown to hinder a child's future in all aspects of life. Also, divorce can lead to a child only spending the majority of time with one particular parent and missing time with the other. This is something I personally can attest too as I have great relationships with my mother and father but my mother had custody and I would only get a total of one week every month with my father when I was growing up, thankfully me and my dad have always just been able to connect and do fun things together but what about other kids who don't have that? You can imagine how hard it must be for them and the negative effects it can create.

Overall, the moral of this article is that both parents need to be involved and their children need to know that. Father's especially are important because of the example a father can create for his child, you need that superhero or just that figure that always seems to do anything and everything to make their children feel safe, loved and cared for. If a child does not get that, they face so many problems as they get older with trust, empathy, and even love. Divorces also do tend to have negative effects on children and it's sad that those relationships between the parents for whatever reason couldn't continue but, I am an example that you can not let it effect you and just understand that it was out of your control. You may be with one parent more than another but you can still connect and seem them virtually whenever you want.

I hope this shed some light on the importance of a father in the household and how divorces can affect a child's future. I hope all is well, God Bless!


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